Six months and waiting...

Wow, it's been six months that we have been on the waiting list. I must admit that it is starting to go a little faster now. I'm done with the downslide of fear and am feeling much better. If you're wondering, the symbol to your left is the Chinese symbol for six. When we started the adoption the wait was six to twelve months for a referral so this month is a bittersweet accomplishment. Today would have been the minimum wait time, but alas things are always changing in the adoption world. But, we can't focus on that right now. Things change, another hill to climb. Jon and I are fortunate that we have such a strong marriage. No hill is too high, no problem too big, and no obstacle insurmountable. Together we will forge through the next several months. Now the minimum wait is 9 months so that takes us to December. We'll get there. The average is looking like 12 months, but we'll face that next year. Next year, wow, that's not too far off. There have been two families with our adoption agency that have received their referrals. I'm so excited for them. They've waited a long time. But, for us that means two couples off that waiting list. Two families closer to our child. Check them out here and here. When I was checking one families blog I was squealing in excitement for them, my sil was sitting next to me thinking that WE had rec'd our referral. But that's okay. We're six months down and not too long to go...We can feel it!!

Welcome to my roller coaster....

Ever seem to have one of those days when you have that doom and gloom feeling in your gut? Well welcome to that day for me. I have that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, like something bad is going to happen. I know everyone had told me that adoption is a roller coaster ride of emotions. Just the other day I was saying that I was feeling oddly good about the adoption. Today is not that day. I'm scared!! Scared that after we invest all that we have, the judge is going to simply say "NO!" Then we will be back to square one and out a lot of money. It's not that we haven't faced this fear in the beginning. But today it's strong. After all the everything you have to go through just to get on the waiting list and get that famous immigration clearance. You start to sit back and cruise, but then that little devil plays with the back of your mind telling you it's not going to happen and pushes you over the edge of doubt, barreling you at warp speed to the bottom without a safety harness. I keep trying to tell myself that it's all going to be fine. Now for those that know me personally...no snide remarks...I can be a tad pessimistic...I said no snide remarks!! But I have tried to stay very positive through this whole process. You kinda have to be or you'll go insane. But it's got to be normal to ride up and down, emotionally, like an old wooden coaster, right? Please tell me that I'm not loosing it!!!

Conversation to continue next month....

We're driving in the car when Jon says to me:
"we've been on the waiting list more than seven months"
???????
"huh?"
"yah, seven months down"

Now let me just let you in on a little secret. Jon has a tendency to add time to things when he tells stories. Like we've been together 9 years when in fact we've been together 7 years. Nothing big, just a tad exaggerated.

So I tell him "no sweetie, we haven't even been on the waiting list 6 months yet. But we're close, next week will be six months for us"

"no it's been 7 months"
"no, honey we were on the waiting list March 9th and now it's September"

silence

"oh, okay, so we'll continue this conversation next month..."

I hate computers!!!!!

So our home computer is still in the shop. I think we're getting a new hard drive. Whatever...just make the flippin thing work. So now I've resorted to using our totally ancient laptop that was given to us about a billion years ago. It's sloooow, even with dsl high speed. Work with me please!! I never wanted high speed. I never really got onto the computer much before it, but now it's driving me absolutely insane to not have the thing. So to everyone out there that I follow. I am reading your journeys. Really I am. It just takes way too long to post a comment right now.

Little boy humor....

Since I won't have access to a computer this weekend. I have to get one last post in. I won't say where I'm at right now...

So my nephews stopped by last night. We were all talking about the adoption and what their new cousin will look like and about the adoption overall..

nephew " he won't be family'

me "yes, he will be family"

nephew"so he'll be part family"

me"no, he will just be family"

nephew"okay"

nephew as he giggles "he'll be family when he farts like Uncle Jon!!!"

me....nothing. Little boy humor, I can't wait!!!!

The computer saga continues...

I am at work right now so...shhhhhhh!!!!! The home computer is going back to the shop with Jon saying "I don't care what you do, just fix it!!!!"

So I'm off line again.....crapola!!!

I really did get something done...

See I told you I got some scrapbooking done....If you click on the picture it will get bigger for ya..
I'm not so thrilled with the stampage on this one, but it was important for me to get this title in.
On the inside of Jon's wedding band I inscribed "my one true love", oh and our wedding date. No excuses on a missed anniversary, right!!
This one is of me and my bestest...Miss Island Girl herself...Jen...I titled it "True" for obvious reasons...true friendship...this is where you all say awwwww...so sweet!!
And this is a picture that I love of us on the beach after we got married..starring towards forever. Sorry about the glare, but if it wasn't there you would notice that I was barefoot(I had shoes on when we got married) I love it.

So no news on the adoption, but I am feeling very oddly good about it right now. Like it won't be forever until we get our baby. Hmmm.. wonder what that means.

And for those of you that have my bellsouth web address, please email me so I have your email address. When our computer crashed he saved everything but everyone's email address. And if you don't have our bellsouth address, email me through this blog and I'll add you.

Tootles all!!

I'm baaaaaack!!!!!!

OMG, I hated not being with my computer. Last Friday I got home from work and as usual went straight to my computer. Clicked on the internet icon, and NOTHING!!! Tried again...Worse!! OMG I thought to myself. I called Best Buy and they told me it wasn't good(I read the error message). They told me how much it would cost, so we called someone else. I asked Jen to write a message for me letting everyone know that I was cut off from the online world. I see that she hijacked the blog. Thankfully she didn't reveal too much. She's such a great friend, but we've known eachother a loong time and she could've really outed me on a lot of things. Thankfully she didn't. When our other friend pulled up our computer, he told us it wasn't good. He wasn't sure that he would be able to save anything. We were very upset, b/c on our hard drive is the scanned copy of the birthfamily album. We had intended to copy the birthfamily album for our child to see later. Anyhow...long story short. He saved everything on our computer and I'm Back. It will probably take me a little while to catch up on everyone, but I will. So for a week with out my online addiction I did get some stuff done...

1. I repainted our master bathroom a metallic silver faux paint job. Yes this doesn't sound so hot, but it looks so good. Finally!! I hated the other grey we painted that looked blue. Now it looks so modern and cool, kinda like I knew what I was doing.
2. I got some scrapbooking done. I'm still working on the wedding album. I'll post some pictures later. But I got like 5 pages done.
3. I tried to burn the house down. I had a grease fire in the kitchen...okay so this doesn't fall under the "I got some stuff done.." category, but it happened. Mind you in my infinite wisdom I didn't want to "waste" the fire extinguisher on this pan fire. But I couldn't figure out how to get the fire out....can't use water...didn't have baking soda...couldn't waste the fire extinguisher. Yelled for my husband, after what seemed like an eternity of yelling he FINALLY comes running...in his underwear...half asleep...skinny legs...yelling "baking soda"..."We don't have baking Soda!!!" So anyways I poured salt on it til it went out.
4. Learned two things....

• When you have a grease fire, place the lid over the pan to smother the o2. The fire will go out. Oh yah forgot about that one.
• If you have a fire and you need help, don't just call out "JON" yell "FIRE!" Help will come much faster, sensing the urgency of the situation.

So that was my week without my computer. See if I'd just had my computer, I wouldn't have been so dangerous in the kitchen!!! I will catch up with you all this weekend. See ya soon. I can't wait to see what's been happening.

3.5 things you didn't know about Ann...

So Ann is still without a computer, so I figure as her best friend, I should continue to hijack her blog until I get busted!! lol!! So hmmm....what should we discuss tonight? oh...how about 3.5 things you didn't know about Ann.

1. In high school, Ann used to work for Little Caesar's pizza! To this day, she can tell you how many pieces of pepperoni go on a large pizza!

2. Also in high school, Ann barely gave, her now future husband, the time of day!! I'm serious folks...she barely remembers him.

3. Ann does not like to drive far distances without a map, and alot of visual markers to let her know that she is going in the right direction.

3.5 Ann is actually certified to teach CPR! (I personally did not know this until just a few weeks ago...go figure!)

Okay...so that's my story and I'm stickin' to it! Until next time (or until Ann realizes I've been blogging for her again)...have a good week!!

Guest poster....

Hi everyone! This is Ann's friend Jen. I am guest posting for Ann tonight because her computer crashed.

This is the part where we all say "awwww....."! Because Ann's world has just crashed along with her computer. It has only been 5hrs since her computer crashed and she is still whining on the phone to me about how she has no access to email and no access to her blogs. She has no clue what to do with herself now. I told her she should scrapbook....she just laughed at me!

So if you have emailed Ann recently don't be upset if she doesn't answer you back right away!!

Thanks for letting me guest post!!

Peace,
Jen

Count with me...

ONE....TWO....THREE....FOUR.....FIVE!!!!!

Five months down. We're almost half way there. Can you feel it?

Can you feel the months passing by? This is the only time in my life when I want time to speed by. After our little one gets home, we are gonna want time to slooooooow down, so we can enjoy our baby. So we have made it through 5 months. Should we count again? Okay I won't make you count with me again......

Okay, maybe just one more time.....
One....Two.... Three....Four....FIVE MONTHS DOWN!!!
And FIVE MONTHS DONE!!!


**I wrote this Tuesday night, but waited until today Wednesday August 9th to post it. So the date is supposed to be August 9th-our 5 month wait date****

So I just learned..

....that we will not receive a picture with our referral. I'm not sure where I figured this, but I always thought that we would get the medical info with a picture. Now I have learned that we will get a very detailed medical and social history on the birthmother and maybe her family. But no picture. Cathwel wants you to make a decision based on the history, medical and so forth, not on a picuture. I learned this from my yahoo group-Adopting from Taiwan. Thanks Ladies, once again you are invaluable. Once we accept the referral we will get a bunch of pictures and monthly updates until we travel. So I'm not really upset by this b/c in my infinate wisdom, I was going to try and not look at any pictures anyways. Yah, I know I probably won't be able to hold out very long, but I was going to try as weak as I may be. I have a friend who adopted and she looked at the pictures, but her hubby didn't. He never saw their little one until he laid eyes on her in person(Hi sweetie, I know you're reading this) I thought this was so cool, so I was going to try, at least. I figure we wouldn't be able to see a true picture of a baby we conceived, and it's not like we would deny a referral as long as the baby was healthy. So in his true wisdom, God made it so I wouldn't get to look, until after we accepted our child. I know this is weird but I'm kinda excited about this. I worried about how I would feel based on what he looked like (yes this sounds horrible, but at least I'm honest). I didn't want to "think" anything based on a picture. Does this make any sense? I know that I will fall in love with our child the minute I see him, heck I'm in love with him now and I don't know anything about him, but this is something I've worried about. So now that weight is off my shoulders. We will be able to see the medical and social history and decide if this is our child...and yes I'm still going to try NOT to look.

Lesson #240: if you don't ask, they'll tell!!!

We received an email newsletter update on the Taiwan program. So I've decided I'm just not going to read my email anymore!!! They wanted us to be aware that the time frame for Taiwan referrals has lengthened. Knew that. So they are letting us know that as a result, some adoptive families in the Taiwan program will have to update their Home Study and CIS(immigration) approvals. Okay, so I knew this, but I sure don't like seeing it in writing. Jon is upset even though we knew this was a possibility. But it looks like it is more than a possibility now. I'd also like to know why our fingerprints expire next June, but our I171h doesn't expire until November of next year('07). It doesn't make any sense. So I called the agency to ask a few questions. Jon and I decided we would just redo these things at the end of January and eat the cost. But I find out from our agency that we CAN'T redo our fingerprints before 1month from expiration. So if we get our referral in March(12 months of waiting) and we wait 4-6 months for the court process obviously our fingerprints will expire, but we won't be able to redo them until May. Now it takes a couple of months to process the fingerprints, putting us in the possiblity of having to wait to travel because of our freakin' fingerprints. Which is what we wanted to avoid by redoing it all in January. Can you sense our frustration? Supposidly there is a bill in congress right now trying to change all this, allowing our I171H forms to be valid for a longer period of time. It seems that all programs(countries) are running into this problem because the referral wait is increasing all around. ARGGGGGGHHHH!!! I just wish that once, just once things would go easily for us. The woman that I spoke with at our agency was so sweet and very nice, bless her heart. But this is very frustrating. At the end of the letter our agency sent it said :" At times the wait and additional paperwork may seem overwhelming and frustrating, but please know, you wil soon be bringing home your bundle of joy...sincerley..."

I know this, really I do. And I know that in the end it will all be worth it, but I just want it to go smoothly for once, just once.

Lesson #239: Don't ask!!!

So our agency as always promptly replied to my email last night. I should've just let myself live in my fantasy world where despite the trend of 9-12 months for a referral, we are very special and wouldn't have to wait that long. You see in my fantasy world our childs birthmother has dreamed of a mother for her child, she is Asian, or part Asian and her name is Ann. So the orphanage would search and search all the photoalbums until she found us. And this would happen very soon. And as everyone else has to wait 9-12 months, WE would receive our "call" somewhere around 7 months(my original fantasy was 4 months) Yes I said it was MY fantasy world. And it was very nice there. I liked it in my fantasy world. In my fantasy world I am happy. There are no let downs in my fantasy world. And in my fantasy world WE ARE SPECIAL!! So I'd like to know who gave our adoption agency the very HUGE knife that burst our bubble?

Their very nice reply:
"Hi Ann,

Yes, unfortunately it's too soon for news on your case. Currently families are waiting close to a year for the referral of a baby. Our most recent families to receive referrals waited 11.5 months to be chosen by a birth family.....

Thinking of you,

Bonnie"

So with that in mind, if we go the 12 months, we will have to redo everything. We will have to get an update to our homestudy, redo fingerprints, and the dreaded I171H(immigration). So folks, I have my comfy shoes on, a pair of sweats, and a grungy ol' tshirt...I'm buckling down for a very LONG wait.

"I'm really starting to get excited about our adoption..."

That's what Jon just said to me. It feels so good to hear him express that. He even asked me to email our agency to see if they still know we're alive. He asked me how long it had been since I even talked with them. It's been a couple of months and even though I know they have nothing to tell us right now, I emailed them anyways. Just because Jon asked me to. We'll see what they say.

Things our child won't do...

Things our child won't do that our "other" babies do....

1. Our child won't chew through the wall or on the curtains when he's bored
2. Our child won't take off every corner of every loose rug in the house..at least not with his teeth
   
3. Our child won't play in his water when he's thirsty...well maybe he will
4. Our child won't wake us in the middle of night to play..okay he might
5. Our child won't sleep right smack dab in the middle of us leaving absolutely no room on our King sized bed....I know he probably will
6. Our child won't poke every boney appendage into my spine while I sleep then act mad if I try to move him...right?
   
7. Our child won't give us sad puppy eyes every single time we eat something begging for a morsel....so I can see this happening
8. Our child won't whine every time we go out without him..creating serious guilt...aren't the grandparents supposed to stop this one?
9. Our child won't leave his toy right in the middle of the floor so that when I get up half asleep in the middle of night I take a serious nose dive b/c I tripped over it....now really I can prevent this one..
10. Our child won't cause serious mind boggling stress every time I hear him cough or sneeze..okay so I'm fooling myself!!!
11. Our child won't ignore me when I tell him to quiet down because Daddy's trying to sleep...please tell me he will listen!!!!
12. Our child won't eat every firey hot pepper off the pepper plant...oh wait I did that or was it my sister as a child...okay so maybe he will
13. Our child won't....really I have one.....trust me...really....Our child won't be put in a cage when we leave the house!!!!!!! :0)

So I was trying to convice myself.....didn't work!!!!
But...he won't chew through the wall when he's bored, right?

Can you say SELFISH?

So much has been put on hold as we've "tried" for a baby. And now with the adoption all of our extra resources have been put towards the cost. I'm not complaining. I know that our baby will be worth every penny that we've had to pay towards adoption costs. But lets face it things have been put on hold. I honestly don't care about that..I want a family more than I want any materiel "things" but I've noticed something lately. A lot of times when we talk, we talk about what things we're going to get once "the baby is here". We talk about a a new house, a new"er" recreational vehicle, a new T.V., carpet, home improvements, clothes, shoes, A NEW BRA!!! OMGosh....the realization hit me....

We're selfish. Not that we don't talk about all the stuff we're going to get for our baby, or all the things we're going to do with our child, but we also talk a lot about what we're going to get for ourselves, and the vacations we're going to take(with baby of course). But as I was driving home today thinking about my new TV and tivo that I'm wanting once baby gets here, I was struck by the total absurdity and selfishness of our thoughts. OMGosh are we going to be terrible parents b/c we still want all this stuff for ourselves. What horrible thoughts, I kept saying to myself. I wonder if our thoughts will change. What if they don't? What if we are horribly selfish parents? What if the baby gets here and our "we want" thoughts don't stop? I don't want to be one of those people that complains about not having stuff b/c they have a family. I'm not a materialistic person, trust me!! But why are we continually talking about "stuff" we're going to get once the baby get here?

He got his game on

Remember this post about the new basesball glove? Well he was able to finally play this weekend with the guys at work. They had a picnic, food and softball. Now we won't mention that after trying to field a ball, he fell over in the grass with the utmost of grace...sorta. But nobody really saw that. We won't mention that today, he told me that it hurt to get out of bed. I will tell you we had a great time and he slammed the ball out to left field several times and hustled faster than most of the younger guys. I will tell you that aside from the spill in right field, he did catch many balls that were slammed his way. Yes he is my baseball star!! YAY!!!

So do you think he's born yet?

**first off let me say that we refer to our baby as a he. Why? b/c our agency has told us that since we didn't specify gender on our request we will probably be referred a boy. With that in mind it's easier to say "he" verses "he/she, him/her, or it"" We don't have a preference aside from a healthy child**

Okay that being said, this question came up at work the other day. "so do you think he's born yet?".

Wow...do we think he's born yet. Well no. We think he's conceived, but not born yet. "But"...they tell me... " If when you get him home he'll be somewhere around 8-12 months old, and you expect to have him home around this time next year, then he's probably born"

So I think about this and I'm resistant to it. "no, he's not born yet"

"But Ann..."

So I think about it some more. We expect our referral sometime between December and February..March at the latest. December being 9 months on the waiting list and at the very freaking out stage of 12 months of waiting..March. Calculations going on in my head(y'all know I'm not good at math) that would mean....
"NO He's not born YET"

So now I'm at the stage of trying to figure out "if he's eight months old when we get home..then he would be born around...if he's 9 months old"

MY head hurts. I guess I just go with my gut. I don't "feel" like he's born yet. Actually I "feel" like he's just into the second trimester of development. But my gosh that question really got me thinking...

OMG I wonder if he's born yet?

It's a Birthday Party!!!

We had the badmitten net set up for the kids...

The Grill for the big kids (this was before EVERYONE showed up)



And The Cake for the BIRTHDAY GIRL!!!

Say Hello to Jon's Grandmother!!!

On Saturday, we celebrated her 80th Birthday at our house. We had a ton of people at our house,along with a ton of good food and good times. It seemed that everyone had a great time. We sang Happy Birthday to her and she got to blow out her candles....we had a big "8" and a big "0"candle...we did NOT make her blow out 80 candle...geesh. After the cake she was so happy, on the verge of tears and then she tells me that this was her VERY FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY....EVER!!!!! Awww, almost made me cry. I am so happy that we were able to throw her

her very first birthday party. She hung out til dark and I think overall had a really good day with her family and my family all around her. Can you believe that at 80 she still works.

Go Grandma...It's your Birthday!!!