Monday, September 04, 2006
Welcome to my roller coaster....
Ever seem to have one of those days when you have that doom and gloom feeling in your gut? Well welcome to that day for me. I have that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, like something bad is going to happen. I know everyone had told me that adoption is a roller coaster ride of emotions. Just the other day I was saying that I was feeling oddly good about the adoption. Today is not that day. I'm scared!! Scared that after we invest all that we have, the judge is going to simply say "NO!" Then we will be back to square one and out a lot of money. It's not that we haven't faced this fear in the beginning. But today it's strong. After all the everything you have to go through just to get on the waiting list and get that famous immigration clearance. You start to sit back and cruise, but then that little devil plays with the back of your mind telling you it's not going to happen and pushes you over the edge of doubt, barreling you at warp speed to the bottom without a safety harness. I keep trying to tell myself that it's all going to be fine. Now for those that know me personally...no snide remarks...I can be a tad pessimistic...I said no snide remarks!! But I have tried to stay very positive through this whole process. You kinda have to be or you'll go insane. But it's got to be normal to ride up and down, emotionally, like an old wooden coaster, right? Please tell me that I'm not loosing it!!!
at 7:01 PM