WE'RE ON TOP!!!

Well I just can't help sharing. We are SOOOOO excited. We found out over the weekend that we have moved on up on our agency list. So for your quoting pleasure......I asked...and they responded.....

"Your thinking is correct. You are at the top of our agency list of waiting families. YYYEEEAAAHHHHHH!!!!"

Now for those NOT with the birthmother program, referrals CAN come out of order. Just because we're on top doesn't mean we'll be the next ones to get a referral for our agency. BUT it does mean we're on top(just in case you didn't quite hear me!!) And for those that aren't with Taiwan's program and are say with China's program, I would kinda equate it with being in the review room. I trust that our album will be in the hands of our child's birthmother very soon...I hope. I didn't think we would ever get to the point of feeling like there was a light at the end of the tunnel. But I'm seeing it. It's there, faint, but growing in intensity.

Baby boy dreams...

The dreams are starting again....

I had a dream about a tiny baby boy....he was little with a head full of hair...

The diapers we brought were too big....he was having GI issues....and poop....poop was everywhere!!

I think with all the referrals lately I may be having some anxiety about being a good parent.

But seriously there was poop everywhere!!!

I just want to say...

On this eve of Thanksgiving I want to say how grateful I am for all of you out there in cyberspace. I don't think we always realize how our comments on eachothers blogs really helps during this rollarcoaster. Many times I will be having a hard day, doubtful that this will ever happen...then I read someone else's blog or comment and my faith is restored. I am thankful for all the friends I have met, for all the support I have received. Some of you leave wonderful comments of encouragement on the blog and sometimes I get a private email from someone who says that I have helped them. It's hard to understand how I am helping others when I am just venting or talking about my feelings. BUT I see the connections between us all. Today I had a very bad day at work. I wanted to quit, I still want to quit. But so much is on the line right now I have to stick it out. I will stick it out. I left work early. I drove home ready to crawl into a hole, feeling sorry for myself...work sucks...we're still waiting...will this ever end? I kept wondering why my life feels so out of control....

Then I checked my email...and there it was. An email from someone from one of the yahoo groups who also checks out the blog. Her words were so sweet...encouraging...nice. And now my day doesn't seem so bad. It's okay. And it's because of all of you. So when you think that it's no big deal the things we say to eachother, I'm hear to tell you that it is a big deal. Your words may be just what someone needed that day.

I wonder...

...first off why I just spent an hour coloring big bird and 20 fish with photoshop, but I guess that's not the point!!

I wonder...

...how many more times I'm gonna have to search for pictures of numbers(20 months waiting...whoo hoooo)

I wonder...

...if he's born yet

And just when I wonder, if Jon thinks about this as much as I do...he says to me....out of the blue....

"I wonder if he knows we're here waiting to love him..."

Be still my heart, I love that man!!