I'm so not going there...

I'm hearing rumors...
about the wait..
I can't even bring myself to write it.

So I'm not.
I'm just gonna hope...
...and pray

I'm going to choose not to think about it.
Not right now...
Not today.

Note to self: men's underwear---NOT comfortable!!!

So my trauma for the day and sure to put a smile on everyone's face. We so need to laugh during this journey so I will sacrifice myself!!

Lately I've been getting up very early, going to the gym at work, working out, then showering at the gym before going to work. In the wee morning hours I grab underwear, a bra and scrubs for the day. Okay, so that's what happened, went to the gym, worked out, showered then went to put on my underwear...only it's not my underwear...It's Jon's boxer brief underwear the same color grey as mine..Now I have a dilemma.. I can wear Jon's underwear or go "commando". At work when you're busy, sweating and moving a lot I need a good ole pair of cotton undies..so I HAVE to wear JON'S UNDERWEAR!!! ALL DAY!!

Done...go to work, tell my friends cuz I thinks it's slightly humorous...By 0815 my entire OR room knows that I am wearing Jon's underwear. By afternoon half the OR knows and by the end of the day the girls in the recovery room are asking to see that I really have JOn's underwear on. Then I have to explain how I got his underwear mixed up with mine and why I didn't notice. FUN..FUN...FUN... just in case you ladies are wondering, men's underpants...not so comfortable...all day I was fixing them, pulling them down, adjusting them. Ever wonder why men adjust themselves all day....IT'S THE UNDERWEAR!!!! They are not comfortable. I had one doc tell me it's because I didn't have the right equipment to "fill" out the underwear properly, Yeah thanks for that bit of knowledge.

So at 0515 tomorrow when I'm heading out the door, I will make sure that I have my underwear with me!!!

Best compliment EVER!!

I was in the lounge with some friends at work. They told me they were talking about me...great I thought!! We were talking about how I was worried about what I'm going to do with my schedule when we get our child. I'm worried about Jon who works at night and will take care of the baby during the day, until I get home from work.. I'm worried about him getting enough rest...I'm worried...and bottom line...I'm worried. My friend looks at me and smiles....What I ask...Then she gives me the best compliment ever...See Ann, she tells me...this child isn't even here yet and you're worried.....You're already a parent!!

Almost made me cry, it was so sweet, simple and the best compliment EVER!!

You've never been to Daytona?

...no I've never been to Daytona.

You've been to Daytona..

No I've never been to Daytona..

You're Sh*#!ing me..You've never been to Daytona...
(This is the conversation we had in the car on the way to St. Augustine for the day)

NO JON I've never been to Daytona. I wasn't allowed to traipse on down to Daytona, then I moved away when I was 19, remember, moved back when I was 26, and I've been with you since...and we haven't been to Daytona. I missed those formative partying days in close proximity to Daytona.

But you went to a race..

Not me.

**So to Daytona we went...in the middle of Biketoberfest**

It's like a nicer Jax beach area. Lots of bikes. The racetrack is cool, bigger then I expected. Of course I wasn't anticipating going to the beach, so I was hotter than can be in my denim, looking like a tourist walking down the beach with my purse!!

We sat on a bench laughing as some guy with a rented long board was in knee deep water, who could barely sit on the board, wobbling to and fro as his girlfriend tried to get a picture of him in the waves. Trust me it was hilarious. Then he tried to swim out further with his board sideways, as the waves are kicking his butt, throwing the board back at him, on top of him, to the side of him....only to come back on shore beat up...but he got his picture. It was too funny. But then again I had my trusty purse!!

We had a great time, of course all the while talking about how neat it's going to be to take our child to all these places. The dominate subject in most of our conversations. So anyways my Daytona cherry is popped!!!

Sometimes you just hafta smile!!!

He told me he took a "portrait" of himself...
Great I thought...I don't have a lot of pictures of him...
This is what I got....
Every time I look at it I smile!!
He can always make me smile!!

SEVEN months done...

So today is seven months on the waiting list. I guess it's going faster. Some days are faster than others. I figured we would have had our referral by now, but oh well...that's life. It seems that you don't really escape the two week wait thing. I still live my life in two week increments. Two weeks til we are 7 1/2 months, then two more weeks til we are 8 months and so on and so on. We are at least on the downslide to our referral. We'll get there, hopefully not too long after the holidays.

Don't tell me...

1. that I want a baby so badly that it kills me because..
   yes I do and a statement like that hurts.
2. Don't tell me that we are crazy for wanting a baby so badly because..
   we are NOT crazy, you just don't appreciate the children you have!!
3. Don't tell me that it's not that you don't appreciate your children, but that you just
   appreciate your free time more because...
   quite frankly I think that's sad.... for your children.
4. Don't tell me to appreciate our free time while we have it because...
   we've had our free time and at this point in our lives we want to share our time with a
   child!!!! I'm sorry that you don't see it that way.
5. Don't tell me that you don't understand why we are in such a hurry to have children because..
   if 4 years of trying to have a baby is in a hurry...well bite me!!
6. Don't tell me that we'll get pregnant after we adopt because...
   although it would be nice, it takes away from our adoption NOW, as if getting
   pregnant would be somehow nicer, better than adopting now.
7. Don't tell me that we can have one of your children..
   because quite frankly We would probably do a better job of raising them and if you
   tempt me long enough, I will. WE have an approved homestudy, ya know.
   
   Sometimes people just don't get it. Why not try....
   "I'm excited for you two...It must be hard, you've been through a lot...It's going to be amazing, I can't wait for you two to be parents....I'm here for you....You're going to love it...."
   
   Okay I'm done with my Sunday rant...it's out, but just a warning.....one day one of these statements is going to make me snap...And I'm so NOT going to be nice about it!!
   

Where is this baby they speak of.....

I'm going to search HIGH and LOW for this Kid...

.....Nope not here......maybe he's under here.....


.....Darn....he's not here either...I held my breath as long as I could, but I couldn't see him.....Where is this baby they keep telling me about?