Sunday, December 31, 2006
I'm feeling very down today. It seems that I'm having more bad days lately then good. I was feeling very excited about the new year, feeling that this would be THE year that we finally have our child. But, as I'm on the boards and reading about the possibility of now 18 months for a referral my spirits are dampened. Yes, I still have hope that it will happen in 2007. But in the deepest parts of my gut there remains that nagging feeling that it won't. I know that if it doesn't, there's a reason. But I just want so bady to move on with our lives. I hate feeling gloomy, when Jon and I are so blessed in so many other ways. It's at the point that Jon and I don't even want to talk about the adoption, because it just doesn't feel real anymore. It seems further away now then it did last year when we started this whole thing. I promise tommorrow I will be more positive, but right now, today, this minute...I'm scared. Scared that our dreams will never be...
at 11:39 AM