This is our story....of love, life, and adoption

Sunday, December 31, 2006

BLAH!!

I'm feeling very down today. It seems that I'm having more bad days lately then good. I was feeling very excited about the new year, feeling that this would be THE year that we finally have our child. But, as I'm on the boards and reading about the possibility of now 18 months for a referral my spirits are dampened. Yes, I still have hope that it will happen in 2007. But in the deepest parts of my gut there remains that nagging feeling that it won't. I know that if it doesn't, there's a reason. But I just want so bady to move on with our lives. I hate feeling gloomy, when Jon and I are so blessed in so many other ways. It's at the point that Jon and I don't even want to talk about the adoption, because it just doesn't feel real anymore. It seems further away now then it did last year when we started this whole thing. I promise tommorrow I will be more positive, but right now, today, this minute...I'm scared. Scared that our dreams will never be...

9 comments:

Connie said...

Take the time to get the bad stuff out. We've all been there. Always know you have plenty of people who support you now and when that happy time finally does come.

I hope this is our year for our kiddos. I will say I hope that but have resigned myself to a longer timeline. Once I did that, and it took a struggle, I have been coping better with the wait overall.

I BELIEVE it will happen, I HOPE it happens sooner than believed.

Thinking of ya!

Anonymous said...

Its okay to be scared, its even okay to be mad just dont forget to keep hoping too. Hang in there. May 2007 bring you your most cherished dream

Ryan and Heather said...

I totally know how you feel. We've been so depressed like we're walking in a cloud everyday. I wish that we'd get some good news, any news! It just seems to be taking FOREVER and it actually seems WORSE around the Holidays.
I really hope 2007 is our year of the babies!! :)

Anonymous said...

AHHHHH! Don't go into the new year like this you are truely blessed even if it was 18 months your still over half way there and you will have your little one before you know it! Look at the bright side! Then tell me where it is so I can look!! LOL just kidding!
*Blessings from Heaven for 2007*

Jennifer "Jenny" said...

I know just how you feel Ann but your`dreams WILL come true! Hang in there we will have good and bad days! Happy New Year! Jenny

Anonymous said...

Hang in there lady! I understand how you feel but as a word of advice the news of your baby will hit you when you least expect it! I know that you think "Yeah right!" but thats how it will happen...Im telling you from experience:)So go take an unplanned trip to a spa that has no phones/ or if that fails do Jury Duty or something b/c thats when your gonna get your call! When your somewhere you cant grab the phone! You guys are in my thoughts & dont worry about the timelines...that perfect baby will find you! Trust me!

Anonymous said...

Enough bad thoughts. Enjoy your life! This is it, your life! Make the most of each day. That baby is coming sooner than you think and the news will come at the least expected time. But until then, don't stop living life. Just enjoy. Hang in there and don't give up.

Jan

Erin Ly said...

Hi Ann,

Hang in there! Believe me, I know how you feel. I hope you can believe that no matter how scared you are that your dream will never be, it will be. . . it will not be when you expect it . . . it will not be how you expect it . . . but it WILL be . . . and it will be 10x better than you expect it!

Thinking of you,

Erin

MOM said...

Ann, I feel that way too! I think for me it is because when I am doing the paperwork etc. I feel like I am getting closer to the goal of having the kids home--but now just waiting seems unreal and FAR away. But God IS in control and he has our kids waiting for us.

Blessings, Debbie
http://twointaiwan.blogspot.com/