This is our story....of love, life, and adoption

Monday, August 06, 2007

I'm just not motivated

Nope...just not feelin' it. We are starting our homestudy update. Our agency let us wait a bit(wasn't that nice) so we wouldn't have to do two homestudy updates. Now when she gave me the list it didn't seem that bad. Not a big deal. I let it sit Thursday and Friday and put it aside over the weekend, thinking I'd start tackling it today. So I pulled all the forms I printed and was feeling like I could breeze through it, have hubby sign here here and here and be done with it.

You'd think that we hadn't done this before. The forms make no sense and I really have NO desire to even fill them out. Isn't that sad. So I just put it away again. You'd think that I'd be in a hurry to get this all done and over with again, but I'm just not that into it. I don't even think I'll clean the house before they come again. Can you picture it....dust hangin' like a cloud in the living room, hair bunnies in every corner, evil creature eyes peeking out from the corner, unidentifiable things hissing from behind the couch(wait that's me), our creeepy bulgivonia plant overgrown by the front door. Nope I'm not trimmin' it. Yep, that's gonna be our home. I really should care, but I just don't. I don't even think I'm gonna mop. Last time, seriously I cleaned the floor with a tooth brush....yes I did. NOT this time. Can you tell that I just don't want to do it. Oh well one day won't hurt, I'll get to it.......

....eventually.....

12 comments:

C.J. said...

A toothbrush? Whew...I'm glad your not motivated this time because I'm a nutcase and I've never done floors with a toothbrush.

More power to ya woman, just keep the toothbrush in your mouth!

Nicole said...

Hey just pick up around the house and dont worry about it. You have already been approved and I cant imagine that changing. Besides they would have to come up with something really big to change that and i doubt it could say anything other than "this poor woman has waited to death!" LOL worth a shot right? Anyhow it is understandable that the first time you were very gunho, and this time it is dissapointing and a reminder of what should have already happened. Like infertility treatments. Very excited and ready to do about anything and then they become a hastle and daunting. I wish you didnt have to do it over again but this IS the last time I am sure of it. Just think of it as summer cleaning and dont fret too much. And you will get to the paperwork because you are pros at it! And because it is just another small, anoying, but small, ok medium, hill to reach your child. You know we are thinking of you.

Cole

Anonymous said...

I feel your pain. I say clean up. Then invite a bunch of friends over for a party the night after the home visit. Kill 2 birds with one stone, so to speak. I have to admit, I'd have a hard time being motivated too. Good luck.

Jan

Amy, Ryan, Aidan & Lauren said...

I like Jan's idea. I totally understand how you feel, and I definitely would feel unmotivated if I were in your shoes. Hang in there.

Chairman Mom said...

Well, I bet social workers know we don't all live in spotless houses. So making your house perfect is just too much work, IMHO!!

And yes, paperwork is a big hairy pain in the patoots! I hate it, too.

Hang in there, honey,

Stacey
http://chairmanmom.blogspot.com

Andrea said...

I'm sorry. I completely understand how you feel. The day before we got our Gotcha call I had put away all dd's pictures, closed the door to her room, took the highchair away from the table. I just couldn't look at it or think about it anymore. I actually told my husband I was going to pretend for one day that she didn't exist. It was the only way to get though it.
Do what you have to to survive. And know we all understand what that "I just can't do this." feels like.

shelley said...

OOOOHHH, I like the idea about having a party afterwards. I didn't clean for our homestudy update for China. It just seemed too hard. I picked up the living room, so that he would have a place to sit down and that was it.

averysmama said...

We just finished our homestudy update paperwork and are expecting the call from our social worker any day now. As much as like her, and look forward to seeing her again, I don't really care either. No special cleaning or primping is going to happen for this visit. So, I hear ya. Hang it there, at least's in one more hurdle you've jumped.

Laura

Abby's Mom said...

I hear ya! I just know that I am going to have to update my HS for a 3rd time. I swear it feels like I just recently did it.

PromiseKeepersDaughter said...

OK drill surgent a toothbrush? Take it easy on your self....hire Mary Maids...
I totally hear where your coming from....I feel like this every three months when I have to do a quartly tax report every 3 months for my buisness. Then one day I just get an energy boost and me and Red Bull get the job done. ;O)

PS. Yes, my cat spits loogies LOL!

Jeter's Mama said...

I haven't redone ANYTHING! Let it all expire. Must start this month redoing everything.

Sherry said...

It I kept a picture diary of the way my house looked through Kobi's adoption you would have seen a tooth brush in the 1st pic & sparkling floors but by the end it would have been a frazzled blonde laying on the dirty floor with her anxiety pills spilled over in to already packed suitcases. Just know we all feel your pain & are here for ya:)