This is our story....of love, life, and adoption

Monday, May 19, 2008

As court approaches....

My stomach is doing flip flops. The site of food is making me sick(not that I couldn't miss a meal). My face is breaking out and I just want to know that everything is okay. I stare at her picture and cry....it's not this end of the wait. I'm handling this end of the wait okay. We're preparing for her, it's fun getting her room ready. But when I stare at her picture and think that someone on the other end of the world is determining whether she gets to come home and we're not there, it drives me mad. If they had questions and we were there I could say me peace. She is my daughter in my eyes and in my heart. I just hate not knowing. I hate being out of control. Jon on the other hand is asking me why I'm worried. "it's going to be fine Ann""relax, try and get some sleep..." See how that just makes me want to strangle him. Jon is the opposite of me. He has that "everything's going to be alright" mentality with everything. Very rarely does he worry. "She's coming home soon, sweetie...."
Me on the other hand, I could pull out my arm hair one at time...I'm so nervous...

So this is the conversation today...

(I have just taken a shower and Jon says...)
You look real cute with that zit cream on your lip

yeah well my face is breaking out....Claire's birthmom is going to look at me and say that I'm not the one she picked out

Well good thing I'm better looking in person, then in pictures....

He can always make me laugh and lighten my mood. So Tuesday night as we sleep, they will have our hearing. I doubt I'll sleep. Say a prayer everyone that things go well. Let's pray her home!!!

9 comments:

PIPO said...

Thinking of you and you sweet Clarie Bear. Not much longer now, mom. She will be home!

Annie said...

I'm praying. I'm also hoping that judge makes his decision quickly so you can stop worrying and get Claire home.

marina said...

Hey it's great you know you have a hearing!!! They aren't going to tell us anything until the first ruling happens. It's hard not knowing anything - I will be thinking of you this week!

Tish said...

oh sweet mama ann!!!! i feel for you! and i can completely understand why you want to strangle jon and pull out your arm hairs one by one! claire is your baby and she will be coming home soon!!!

Vonda and John said...

Ann - the whole long wait for us to get baby Paul from Korea - I kept thinking that someone was going to call and say, never mind, he is not available. It is horrible waiting like this, I know. Hang in there. It will happen. It is a formality right? That is what we waited for - formalities.

Blessings to you and I am so impressed with her room.

Vonda

Andrea said...

It's wonderful that the hearing is so soon. I was just like you and my dh was just like Jon! He never worried about anything.
Everything is going to be fine. I love the artwork in her bedroom, it looks so fantastic!

Anonymous said...

awwww...it's going to be fine. Hold on just a wee bit longer. You are almost there!!!!

Jan

redmaryjanes said...

I will definitely say a little prayer for Miss Claire. But do try to relax and get some sleep. It's going to be fine.

Abby's Mom said...

Hang in there Anne. I can't wait to see her in your arms :)