"Out there" being the adoption world and in particular Taiwan. Everything seems to come in spurts. It'll be a while before anyone hears anything...no referrals, no travel, no calls. And just as everyone starts to feel despondante, someone gets a travel call. Then another person gets court approval, then two people get referrals. Then another and another and you can feel the exicitement building. You can feel the energy. I belong to several yahoo adoption groups, either specific to Taiwan, our agency, or Florida. Let me just say that these families are so wonderful and even though we haven't met, everyone is such a great support.
When you go through infertility, and for us it's been 4 years now, pregnancies and baby showers become so difficult. It's not that you aren't happy for other people. I mean they aren't getting pregnant to spite you. You aren't unhappy for those people either, you just become sad for yourself. You don't want to be sad when someone tells you that they are pregnant, but you just are. It's hard to explain if you haven't been through infertility, but you are. It's difficult then because you begin to feel guilty for not being as happy as you feel you should be. It's been like that for some time for us. I can't tell you how many times we cried together when we heard the news of someone else that was pregnant. But things changed the minute we decided to Adopt instead of try IVF. Then it was okay, because we weren't sad for ourselves everytime someone else got pregnant. You become excited again. I was thinking about this as all the referrals started pouring in. I find myself drawing energy from them and I'm not sad that it's them and not us. I thought I would be, but I'm not. I get so excited now when someone gets that call or I read all about their first meeting with their child. I check the boards many times a day to see whats happening. These Yahoo groups are great...and as you watch their stories unfold you get so much hope that one day your family will become complete. So as I read about landings in Taiwan, Gotcha Days, and referral news and see that it is indeed hopping out there right now, I draw on this and gather all the strength I'm gonna need for this wait.
10 comments:
I know EXACTLY what you mean. Strangely enough, it bums me only in my personal circles though not very much anymore. For pity's sake my JOB is delivering babies so I spend my life looking at pregnant women. I find it a comfort rather than pain. I still share in a pregnancy I so desperately wanted at a time. But, the day came when I really decided it was more important for ME to be a parent than be pregnant. I've never lost site of that and it makes my life so much more enjoyable. My daughter IS coming.
I hope and pray that your adoption will go through! He, He, He I'm glad that you like my food pix I love taking pix of them esp. restaurants we have visited and ate at!
Sending lot's of hugs your way Ann. It's understandable how you feel, you said it perfectly. You're happy for them but sad for yourself. Soon you will have a beautiful child in your hands, with a smile from ear to ear.. you will be happy and so will we. Keep your head up.
Ann,
I couldn't have described the transition from infertility treatments to adoption better myself. I was just telling a girlfriend that the other day. Your whole outlook on life switches in an instant. It has been life-changing, in a beautiful way.
Sonya
Hey Ann- I'll "fifth" what everyone else said. Shots in the belly were no fun.. and the results are the same for those of us who want to be parents more than we want to be pregnant.
I'm not quite as upbeat as you when I see the travel news.. I wish I was.. this past week has been so hard on me. But I know I'm just being a baby. So now, when I start to feel all pitiful (whimper, whimper) I just start praying for Luke and Sheri. It's really helping. When they get their news, I'll start praying for YOU! :)
hugs-
Val
Val, We haven't been waiting that long yet, so we'll see how I feel 6 months from now. But I am really excited to hear everyones news..it means that it will happen for us and your two girls will be home before you know it.
Ann
waaahhh!!!! I know you're right. We've been at this since Jan, and although in the grand scheme of things, that's not all that long, I, of course, am withering from the wait. Let's hope things keep "hoppin'"!!!
hugs-
Val
Yes, it's hopping out there and your call will be coming soon!
Been there, done that... burned the crummy T shirt!!!!! I know your heart and you know mine... it is like a club that has a special ritual requirement in order to join. We have our battles they have theirs. I just wonder.. do "THEY" ever think "Gee I wish I could adopt like her"......lol. This is an odd sisterhood, but I think it is thicker than embilical fluid...lol.
After 10-day and $5000-worth of paiful shots with only one egg, I decided that I have had enough!! I am totally with you. Now I have decided to adopt and have my baby waiting for me in Taiwan, life is just as sweet.
Hope you will get a referral soon!
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