This is our story....of love, life, and adoption

Monday, August 07, 2006

So I just learned..

....that we will not receive a picture with our referral. I'm not sure where I figured this, but I always thought that we would get the medical info with a picture. Now I have learned that we will get a very detailed medical and social history on the birthmother and maybe her family. But no picture. Cathwel wants you to make a decision based on the history, medical and so forth, not on a picuture. I learned this from my yahoo group-Adopting from Taiwan. Thanks Ladies, once again you are invaluable. Once we accept the referral we will get a bunch of pictures and monthly updates until we travel. So I'm not really upset by this b/c in my infinate wisdom, I was going to try and not look at any pictures anyways. Yah, I know I probably won't be able to hold out very long, but I was going to try as weak as I may be. I have a friend who adopted and she looked at the pictures, but her hubby didn't. He never saw their little one until he laid eyes on her in person(Hi sweetie, I know you're reading this) I thought this was so cool, so I was going to try, at least. I figure we wouldn't be able to see a true picture of a baby we conceived, and it's not like we would deny a referral as long as the baby was healthy. So in his true wisdom, God made it so I wouldn't get to look, until after we accepted our child. I know this is weird but I'm kinda excited about this. I worried about how I would feel based on what he looked like (yes this sounds horrible, but at least I'm honest). I didn't want to "think" anything based on a picture. Does this make any sense? I know that I will fall in love with our child the minute I see him, heck I'm in love with him now and I don't know anything about him, but this is something I've worried about. So now that weight is off my shoulders. We will be able to see the medical and social history and decide if this is our child...and yes I'm still going to try NOT to look.

7 comments:

Connie said...

Funny thing is, pregnant gals CAN get a pretty good pictures of their babies before birth now with 3D/4D imaging. I haven't seen a one want to 'send their baby back'.

That's the approach I'm taking. My daughter will be my daughter. I will look at her picture but regardless of what that picture conjures in my mind...it holds my dream of MY baby.

malou said...

Good for you, Ann! It's like you are pregnant, you don't know what your baby will look either, anyways. I pray for a healthy baby for you and Jon. Goodluck!

TaiwanMommy said...

Hey Annie Banannie- we refused to look at Harper and Taelor's pics until we'd reviewed their medicals. I didn't want tomake a decision based on chubby cheeks. It was a no brainer though, and of course, they're cute as cn be! hehehe Your child will be beautiful too, I'm sure. First pictures are never much to look at anyway! :) xoxox val

Babygirl's parents said...

Ann,
Thanks for "saying hi" on my site:)
Wow, you've got quite a journey on your hands. I am looking forward to watching the unfolding. And um, really, good luck on not looking... Now that is will power!!!! Steven and I were going to "look at the same time" and slowly opened the envelope to carefully slide the photo out....lo and behold she just fell out in our laps...really! And way before we were all "composed and everything". BTW, your wedding photos are so romantic!!!!! Wow!
OK well, maybe you'll let us peek before you? "...Just don't look ast the blog!"
Wishing you all the best and waiting to see!
Anna

mIcHeLlE-o said...

I can't wait to see what lil man looks like too. Are you sure you're having a boy, could it be a girl? i think that the important part is seeing the medical and to make sure that baby is AOK. Big hugs and yes.. everyone would want to look if there was a pic, it's not just you.

NikkiNix said...

Girl! You are good... I'd want to look - haha. Anyway, you are so right, even though very recently we've been able to get 3D ultrasounds, it's the norm not to "get" to see until you meet face to face so consider your "waiting pregnancy" just like any other ;)

And what's better than feeling that little hand in yours... and hearing "Goodnight Mommy". Pictures really are worthless, the MOMENTS matter more :)

How much longer????

jeneflower said...

It is a leap of faith in the beginning. We chose an agency that we knew did blind referrals because I knew deep down inside that children should not be a buffet table. We wanted to receive the child God gave us. That said, not having a picture is hard because you can't help but have some expectations. Even if you are totally open in your heart. For me, it was important to see her to be able to picture her in my mind. It made everything more real. You will get all the pics you need when the time comes.