This is our story....of love, life, and adoption

Friday, April 20, 2007

It gets me EVERY time...


I don't know why I feel compelled to look and check on our agency website(note: this post may sound very familiar). I knew this information. I spoke with the agency and I knew the average wait was 18 months. I've read the letter from Cathwel stating this information. So why is it that when our agency website actually states this, my stomach drops in horrid surprise like this is the first time I've heard this before. I surely could've upchucked right there. Seeing it in writing on the website, despite clear knowledge of the information, is like a sucker punch every time. Maybe because I feel like if they don't change the website there's still a chance that our referral will come sooner then what they're telling me. Yes, I know this is naive, but if it's not officially on the website that's how it feels, like maybe, just maybe we will slide in under what they're telling me, because well you know it says on the website......
But again they have updated the website(NOT LIKE I DIDN'T KNOW) and the average wait is now 14-18 months for an infant. A total Gut buster, seriously. I know it sounds irrational because I've been telling you all this for a while now. But sometimes I like to hold on to some glimmer of hope that we won't have to wait 18 awful months...which by the way would be ANOTHER...5 months til referral and lets not forget about court....tack on another....
Oh forget it!!

10 comments:

C.J. said...

It bites. BUT - we will get there one of these days. Only thing that keeps me going in the whole deal. The wait will end.

Jennifer "Jenny" said...

I Know, It is so frustrating!

eggrolls and chopsticks said...

It is the power of the written word. We can deny what we can't see but when we can see it it becomes reality.
Bury your head in the sand and just keep trudging along.
We will get there.

jeneflower said...

I did the same thing- always checking our agency's website for news. I think that over the next 5 months things could change for the better- so keep hoping! You never know!

BTW- your house looks great and I hope you had a great birthday! Just think - you won't be having another birthday without your new baby!

PromiseKeepersDaughter said...

I know the wait is long isn't it.. ((Hugs)) I feel for ya.

Doris & Dan said...

It sucks. We are smacked with the realization that any hope we had is not gone after seeing it in front of our faces...sigh

We will keep each other company as we make our way thru!

Keep smilin!

TaiwanMommy said...

Oh, Bananie.. I was so sure April was YOUR month. Pooh. Well, look at it this way, worst case scenario is another 4.5 months.. Mid Sept. Now, tell me, how quickly has the time gone since Jon's surgery? Really fast, right? And that was 5 months ago. This too shall pass, Honey. I'm so sorry. I remember feeling the anxiety, too..
You don't need to worry about the courts, though.. that goes much faster now. Just concentrate on your baby.. once the referral arrives, THIS wait will seem like a cake walk, so breathe whilst you can!!
I think you'll get your referral before July 7th. The baby boy will be very young.. I think you'll have him home before cooler weather hits Florida.
If you want to come visit me in the meanwhile, I have plenty of little people you can practice Mommy-ing. I'll be happy to let you share in the FULL experience. The diapers? All yours. The messy high chairs? Yours too. Carrying them both while Kyra rides your ankle? Oh, THAT's a job for you too.
I'll be in the jacuzzi with a glass of wine.
You're welcome to stay until it's time to leave for Taiwan.. I PROMISE the time will go by fast!! :)

xoxo
me

Anonymous said...

Hang in there, girl. It's coming. Sooner than later, I hope. I'll keep my fingers crossed for May!

Jan

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malou said...

Don't worry, ann things will look up-months just goes by fast and you will have your baby.