This is our story....of love, life, and adoption

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Can you say SELFISH?


So much has been put on hold as we've "tried" for a baby. And now with the adoption all of our extra resources have been put towards the cost. I'm not complaining. I know that our baby will be worth every penny that we've had to pay towards adoption costs. But lets face it things have been put on hold. I honestly don't care about that..I want a family more than I want any materiel "things" but I've noticed something lately. A lot of times when we talk, we talk about what things we're going to get once "the baby is here". We talk about a a new house, a new"er" recreational vehicle, a new T.V., carpet, home improvements, clothes, shoes, A NEW BRA!!! OMGosh....the realization hit me....

We're selfish. Not that we don't talk about all the stuff we're going to get for our baby, or all the things we're going to do with our child, but we also talk a lot about what we're going to get for ourselves, and the vacations we're going to take(with baby of course). But as I was driving home today thinking about my new TV and tivo that I'm wanting once baby gets here, I was struck by the total absurdity and selfishness of our thoughts. OMGosh are we going to be terrible parents b/c we still want all this stuff for ourselves. What horrible thoughts, I kept saying to myself. I wonder if our thoughts will change. What if they don't? What if we are horribly selfish parents? What if the baby gets here and our "we want" thoughts don't stop? I don't want to be one of those people that complains about not having stuff b/c they have a family. I'm not a materialistic person, trust me!! But why are we continually talking about "stuff" we're going to get once the baby get here?

10 comments:

Connie said...

Ann - fear not. You put aside perceived selfishness to start the journey for your baby. That says a lot about where your head is. If you were really selfish abut yourself you wouldn't want to have a child so strongly. Happy parents make for happy kiddos :0) Chin up. I know you won't choose playing with tivo over your child!

jeneflower said...

I think you guys are just like everyone. You want to live the dream. And that dream includes your child and all of the fun things in life. I think it is OK to want things as long as you give a lot to others in need (as your heart leads) and don't go into a lot of debt. Just my personal philosophy. You will be great parents!

David and Janalee said...

Ann,
It is fine to want fun things in your life. You are not a horrible parent if you want things after baby comes, besides the things you want will make for a great life for baby...even the new bra! Who wants their mom to show up to playgroup in a ratty old bra? LOL!
I can tell you from experience that allowing yourself to have some of the finer things in life makes for a happier mommy in the long run. You are going to be a great mom, new bra and all!
Janalee

Mommy-To-Channing said...

Had to laugh about the new bra!! I was thinking of doing the annual re-stock up, but put it on HOLD too!!! They arent cheap!!
You'll be fine..you know where the priorities are, and things will all fall into place sooner or later. I tell myself that sometimes I need a perk too, so I'll by myself a little something...Keep smilin!!

malou said...

Ann, I don't think you are a selfish person at all, with you realizing this about wanting stuff it's just your excited that you will have a baby soon and you want the best for the baby like buying a new home (that's just not for you guys that's also for the baby you will need a bigger house w/the three of you!)

mIcHeLlE-o said...

You are SO NICE selfish Ann!! I appreciate you sharing this with us, that way we can tell you that you are SO wrong. It's a part of life. We all do it. Welcome to parenthood girlie, all kinds of thoughts cross your mind when you become a parent. You deserve all the stuff that you want, just put it all in order first. Hugs girlie!!

Rhonda said...

Ohh you're not selfish. Margaret posted a funny post at http://peanutpants.blogspot.com/2006/01/small-sacrifices.html
called Small Sacrifices. Its not selfish at all to plan out things that you want, and goals that you have as a couple.

Ann said...

Thanks Rhonda I checked it out, glad we're not the only ones looking forward to that extra cash "after the baby gets here"

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