Can you hear the silence?

I get a blah/vent post folks so bear with me.

We did a role call on my agency Internet group. There is one family @ 18 months, two families @ 16 months, two families @ 14 1/2 months, then us. And yes there are many families after us. But we're now approaching 12 months(you'll get that more positive post on Friday). But since it's not Friday I feel the need to wallow in my own miserable FOREVER waiting room. About two months ago SR. Rosa put out a memo to the agencies about the increasing wait. They are fully aware that this is taking FOREVER and their intentions are not to have the families "suffer" through a long wait. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Yes, they are trying to remedy the situation. But bottom line, there is a backlog(sound familiar, China families) and it's going to take a bit for the wait to get back down.

So since we should already have our referral now, and we Don't. And since it's going to be a while before we do. We are stuck in this miserable waiting room. Imagine this, because this is how it feels.....

The room is bear, nothing on the walls, stark and cold. There is no clock because they don't want you to know how long you've been waiting. There is a crusty old woman sitting at the front desk, talking on the phone about her terrible life. She is preoccupied and oblivious to the many many families in the waiting room. The magazines are all old, because they've been there a long time. And we've already read them a million times as we've waited. We are left to stare at the bleak walls. We all know each other because we've been in this room for a very long time. We've already shared our stories. We've asked all the pleasantries a million times. We are at the point of no conversation. So it is silent. Every once in a while, someone asks again...."how long have you been waiting" Everyone sullenly answers. Then again it is silent. New families join the room. They are so full of joy and anticipation. They pick up a magazine for the first time. We sit in silence. You can tell which families have been there a long time. Their butts are numb. They can't feel their legs. They are hungry for news. They are tired. Tired of waiting. Once in a while that old hairy lady looks up and searches for a certain family and before the families name is announced everyone in the room is alert, anxious, giddy and full of hope that it is their turn. Then that family gets to leave the waiting room. We are left again in silence. But for some odd reason the silence isn't always desperate. Because behind the silence, behind the weary eyes are visions of babies or children, Gotcha days, and tears of joy. So once again we pick up a magazine and read a story we've read before. Because one day that old lady...she'll be calling out our name in the silence!!!