This is our story....of love, life, and adoption

Thursday, August 28, 2008

All new stuff

I always told myself that when I got back I would blog on a regular basis, not like everyone else when they get back. Okay so I was wrong But at the end of the night I'm just plain tired. I'll try to do better.

Claire went the doc's for the first time. She's in the 95th percentile for weight(as if we didn't know that), and the 65th percentile for height. She's developmentally right on. The doc did tell me that she would like her on a sippy cup and off the bottle by a year old. I'm not too sure that she realized that that is like in 2 months. So I've tried it. She hates it. She acts like I'm am torturing her. I only do it at lunch time right now, she fights me on it, but will eventually take it. I only do it at lunch right now. I doubt it will happen by the time she's a year though.
Claire is so full of energy and is already into everything. She is cutting something like 4 teeth right now, so she's really biting a lot of things, like people, dogs, dog toys, furniture, her crib. If you notice on the crib shots there's a "wrap" over the top rail. I had to make a bite thingy so she didn't ruin her beautiful, crib that turns in to the bed she will have until she moves out of our house.
She also seems to get into a worry frenzy type thing. Like if she sees her bottle, she gets this panicky look on her face as I'm walking across our huge living room(note sarcasm), and will almost panic and cry as if I'm going to give the bottle to the dogs. She also does this when we are feeding her and when it's bath time. She works herself up into a frenzy panic.
As an adoptive parent you always wonder if these little things are "adoption" issues or if they're personality things. Like does she panic because she had to wait for her bottle in the orphanage or is that just her personality. Does she not yet feel secure with us, or does she just love food. You hate to automatically assume it's because she was in an orphanage.
Anyhow, everyday we meld more and more. I know that she transitioned very well, but I also know that a lot of that was survival. The real bonding is taking place in moments, in our home, when we're alone. A look here, a sweet kiss there, rocking at night, holding a finger to fall asleep. Those are the moments for me when the true bonding is taking place. I know that it's happening b/c just two weeks ago, she would go to anyone and smile. Today when I went by work, that wasn't the case. She would go to someone, but then 5 seconds later, she would look for me and reach her arms to me. It was enough. 5 seconds in someone else's arms was enough, then she wanted me. Sometimes she just wouldn't go to others. That made my day!!


Andrea said...

I think the panic thing could easily be about food. Miranda still gets upset if someone else gets something to eat and she doesn't (even if she just finished eating). And we just celebrated one year home so I think it is just something they learn.
I love the pictures and it seems like she is really doing well. As for the sippy cup, try, if she hates it I wouldn't push. After all, the most important thing is making her feel secure and to her the bottle probably means security. You have to trust your mommy instincts :)

MotherMotherOcean said...

You will post more eventually.

I know the panic stuff. It happens.

I love these pictures of her. So cute.

Tisra said...

Let me encourage you regarding the panicky mode you describe. All three of our (current) children aren't adopted and they did that. Mostly, it happened when they were hungry, and *then* I'd go to get the food. If I would look at the clock, and anticipate the need a little in advance of absolute hunger, the panic was less. I never starved them (obviously), and they never ever had to wait long for food because of a busy orphanage nursery. It was almost as if the power of suggestion ramped up the panic. Before seeing the food (or food "source" when I was nursing), they'd be, like, "um.. Mom.. I'm hungry". Then when you have a jar in hand, or the "source" gets revealed itbecomes, "WAAAAHHHHHH! NOw! I'm hungry! Now! I will not survive- I need fooooooood!!!"

All that said, you are her Mommy (does that still make you want to pinch yourself?!- I'm so happy for you!), and you will soon know her better than anyone on the planet (even the nursery staff who cared for her that first year)- trust your intuition.

You guys are looking great!

Cindy said...

Don't worry too much about the sippy cup...she'll figure it out when she's ready. It took our daughter a little while to figure it out...I just kept trying different cups and I put something sweet in there, instead of milk. She liked apple juice, and once she got the hang of it, I started diluting the juice so she wouldn't be consuming so much sugar. I didn't much care for the Nuby brand sippy cups b/c they leaked, but that one was easier for our daughter to use at first. I think it's b/c it doesn't have a valve and it's easy to get the juice out.

Sounds like you are enjoying your new role as a mommy...happy to see an update on your blog!


Anonymous said...

I don't think the Dr understands how important feeding your baby her bottle is in bonding with a newly adopted child.

They also love their bottles. It is their comfort and they have been upset enough by changes in their little lives.

David and Janalee said...

Oh Ann! Being with you agrees with her, I think she gets cuter each time you post! I love hearing you-well reading you actually- I love seeing you become a mom! I love your posts and I am so happy you are trying to post better than those of us that dropped off the face of the earth after baby got home.
About the sippy- I agree with the mommies above, don't push it. Bottle feeding is huge with adopted children as a way to bond, she has had so many changes the past few weeks that it will not hurt her to keep her bottle a few more weeks or months. Remember now is when she will start to associate you and Jon with everything that happens in her world and if she is not ready to give up her bottle and you take it away anyway it could undo some of that bonding you are talking about.
You are doing great, trust your mommy instincts.

Ok, stepping down from the soap box now.

Love your post, the pictures are adorable.

Yesterday was Maya's two year Gotcha Day anniversary- can you belive it?

Annie said...

That last bit really made me smile. She knows you're her Mommy now. :)

Precious Wonders and Little Monkeys said...

Never had any of my children off the bottle completely until about 16 to 18 months and they are not adopted. I also know that I always held the bottle no matter what (why? because I wanted them to trust me to give them what they need). I feel that they need to know it is okay to relinquish control with mama. Just my experience.

Also if you wish, Avent makes a transitional bottle with handles and you can still use the bottle nipples for a while. Of course, you have good instincts... go with them.

That's so wonderful that she is like..."You are NOT my mama." to all the strangers.

Tami and Bobby Sisemore Family said...

I loved the pics and the post :) It encourages me about Noah and his ability to bond with us to hear she is doing well with you :) I know it made your day when she wanted YOU and not to go to someone :)

Noah's Mommy

William's Family said...

William also does the same thing with food, but then again, like Claire, he's a chunk and likes to eat. Maybe it's not an adopted thing? But I do know how you feel, always wondering.

I also wouldn't be in any rush to get her off the bottle. We're taking our time with William, though we've recently transitioned him to holding his own bottle after almost 6 months. He gets a sippy cup during his 2 snack times, then his bottle for the 3 meals.

It's great to hear about all the progress Claire is making. It sounds like she's doing wonderfully and that you guys are totally rocking the whole parenting thing.

Tish said...

matthew still screams whn i put his waffle into the if he might not get it even though he has been getting it almost every day for teh past few months!!

being a new parent is tough...being a new parent to an adopted child is TOUGH!

Monica said...

Sounds like she is sinking her roots in deeply and attaching beautifully!

Erin Ly said...

Glad things are going well at home. All of your challenges are normal, and, yes, I think some are adoption related. But they get better every day and Claire is doing really well, and so are you.

Don't worry about getting her off the bottle quickly. She is loving it and needing the security of it and you are providing that for her. Keep doing that. We kept Kira on her nighttime bottle until 18 months for attachment purposes. Claire needs the "baby" time with her Mommy.

Sarah k said...

Hey hon, If you want to have a better go at the sippy cup here is an idea. When we got Jer from SLC they had him on bottles that had a spreadable nipple like an x on it in the middle. If you switch her to the nuby bottles that transform into a subtle sippy cup, that may answer many things for you. I did that with Jer and he went through stages.. and you can still get away with feeding her like a baby longer with the nuby soft stages sippy tops. Then you can go to the bigger soft/had tops and then into a regular sippy after a while. That is the only way Jer would allow
I love the pictures hon.. and you will get to post more often the more "old hat" this all becomes.. I am worried about what will happen after I get the second home.. YIKES!!! So happy for you...

Sarah k.

Sarah k said...

Also, if she isn't ready for them.. go with your gut! I did with Jer and the plan above is what I finally settled on, but he was WAY over 12 months as he came home at 12 months 2weeks. It took us about 6 months to get him completely through the process I described.. so NO HURRY HON!

Anonymous said...

poor little thing probley never got fed enough there with all the other babies. I can see you are fattening her up a little, she is so pretty. I bet she will love American food...someday maybe she will be helping you cook.
You will love having a girl to do things with. My daughter and I have the most fun together.